Starting Again

I made it 3 whole months without a cigarette.....and then.....I went out drinkin with one of my friends (who ONLY smokes occasionally when she drinks).....and we bought a pack at the bar and smoked.

Why???

I remember thinking I really wanted a cigarette....and that since it had been 3 months....I could smoke just for the night....and then be a non-smoker in the morning. Well....that was partially true. After that night of smoking....I went a whole week without a smoke. The following weekend....I rationalized that I was only a weekend drinking smoker. So....I smoked that weekend.....and then went till the following Friday before smoking again. This time...I wasn't drinking.....so I instead rationalized that I was a weekend smoker....whether having a drink or not. Haven't gone a day without smoking since. That was probably around New Years.

Good news is....I'm trying again!!! I had my last cigarette at 8 p.m. last night. It's currently 5:46 p.m. the following night....so I've nearly made it thru the first 24 hours. That's a big test. Usually if I can make it through the 1st day...I can make it through the 2nd and 3rd. It's just getting through the first 24 hours without giving in to the craving.

My skin was looking soooooo good after not smoking for 3 months. After smoking for only a month again...I've noticed it looking less healthy again.

I'm glad it's only been a month that I've smoked. Hopefully that'll make it even easier to quit this time. AND....I just need to STAY QUIT!!!! UGH!

So...today....like last time has been easier than I thought it would be. I haven't really had cravings so much as I've had moments where I felt I was "supposed" to be smoking. I just ignored them and kept going.

I see that I was CRABBY on day 2 last time....so that's something that I need to pay attention to tomorrow. That's the benefit of having a blog.....knowing the patterns you've gone through before.